Six months

Dear Will,

I can hardly believe it has been half a year already.  It is hard to remember what life was like before you joined our family.  You have brought so much happiness to each one of us. 

From Day One of your life, we have been struck by your calm and peaceful nature.  You slept so well and soundly in the hospital.  The nurses all warned me that this is how all newborns are during the first day or two of their lives, but even when you were slightly jaundiced and they had to wrap you in a “Billi-blanket” – you hardly seemed bothered at all.  When we brought you home from the hospital, I kept waiting for you to be fitful or fussy, but you never did.  You still woke up often to eat, but during the in-between times, you would be content in your swing or lying on the ground for long stretches of time.   Your natural state seemed to be relaxed and calm.

I will never forget the first moment I saw you.  I was so overcome by the pains of childbirth, that I forgot to think about the end result.  And when your warm and slippery self was handed to me, I felt almost surprised to see you.  It was love at first sight and I was instantly overjoyed.  You looked so absolutely adorable to me.  Two of the first things I said were, “He’s perfect!” and “I’m so happy.”  That about sums up my life with you so far. 

I truly enjoyed my one-on-one time with you in the hospital.  I loved holding you close and staring at your perfect little head, staring eyes, tiny cleft chin, and curved lips.  I was thrilled to see a hint of red hair.  

I loved to lay next to you and listen to you sleep.  With each exhaled breath, you let out a little tiny sigh. In fact, I have loved having you sleep next to me.  You are still in a bassinet next to my bed, even though your head is now touching the top and your toes are touching the bottom.  I love to hear you wake up and I love that the first thing I do is peer over to see you stretch, yawn, and smile.  Soon, you will have to move to the bigger crib in the nursery.  And I will miss you.

Life is busy with four kids, and so I have made it a point to create memories with you.  In the morning when you wake up, if no one else is up yet, I’ll lay you next to me in bed and listen to your cute little voice babble ‘good morning.’  On one recent night, I fed you, swaddled you, and laid you next to me on my bed.  We laid there together, almost nose-to-nose, as you slowly drifted off to sleep.  Your eyelids would flutter closed, then open.  You’d smile at me, then drift away again.  It was delicious. 

What a happy baby you are.  Two times you have laughed yourself to sleep.  I’ve swaddled you, held you close, and you’ve looked up at me and laughed off and on until you finally give in to sleep.  You really are always ready with a little giggle and it is music to our ears. 

Emmy loves to hold you and to make you happy.  She sits by you in the car and helps you out with toys, blankets, and binkies.  She is old enough to carry you around from time to time.  She loves to snuggle with you and often is the first to come in and say hi to you in the mornings or the last to give you a goodnight kiss, or two, or three before bed.  Even Ryan, who is only 3, is tender with you.  When you  smile at him, he says it means you like him.  One time you accidentally scratched him and then smiled at him.  When you smiled, he said, “Mommy, his smile means he is sorry.”  He will often sit and show you toys and he looks forward to a time when the two of you can play baseball together. 

Daddy broke his arm when you were a little over three months old.  This has been sad for him because he cannot hold you very well.  It has now been almost three months since he has even changed a diaper!  When he had his cast on, he said the first thing he would want to do is to hold you, his sweet baby boy. 

If I could freeze time right now, I would.  You’re on the cusp – almost in a big crib, almost ready to eat solid foods, almost sprouting teeth, almost ready to sit up and then start cruising around.  All, so exciting.  But like I said, I know how babies grow – too fast.  And so I’ll just keep holding you close and smooching on you, and feeling your soft skin, and smelling your sweet breath, and I’ll try not to blink my eyes for fear that all of a sudden my baby will be all grown up.  But here’s the thing: when that happens, I’ll love you even more than I do now, which seems pretty hard to imagine.  But that is the amazing thing about love – it just keeps growing right along with you. 

Here’s to love, and here's to YOU!

Love,

Me