In the bag

Today I pulled a bag off of a hook in my bedroom that I have not moved in 7 months.  The last day that I used this bag was March 10 - the day I went into labor with baby Will.  That night, I pulled out my new bag - a sweet gift given to me by my best girlfriends here in Palo Alto - and I packed it with little baby blue treasures and new mommy essentials.

It was fun to see what remnants I'd left behind in the old bag: a church program from that Sunday, a protein bar to stave off hunger pains, several of my favorite mints (I suffered from a bad taste in my mouth through much of my pregnancy), chap stick, an IKEA receipt (evidence of our last nesting project), a note from my Dr. giving me permission to fly across the US when I was 36 weeks pregnant, and a business card for an acupuncture therapist (I thought I might go late and was considering acupuncture as a possibility for inducing labor).

Now my bag has diapers, wipes, binkies, and lots of little odds and ends that baby Will likes to suck on: a toothbrush, a bell, a big fat rubber band, a ribbon, and a string of beads.

In Sophie's Kindergarten class, her teacher starts off each day by playing the guitar and singing a song.  Ryan and I always stay to listen to the song.  A couple of weeks ago, the song was "I'm Changing."  The chorus says, "I'm changing . . . a little bit every day."  As I sang along, it hit me that I'm changing too - just like those Kindergartners.  Four kids has been a joyful but TOUGH transition!  I often feel I am running uphill, grasping at my last shreds of patience, and trying to keep all of my ducks in a row.  I take comfort, though, that hopefully all of these little challenges are changing me for the good -- a little bit every day.

The Katie I was 7 months ago was full of anticipation and excitement (and thankfully, a healthy sense of the reality of how hard it would be) for this new chapter.  And now I'm in the thick of it - and it is HARD.  But I'm glad to be here.